QC strips 11 through 20

Let's continue through the archives. Today, I will be discussing strips 11 through 20. Be careful not to accidentally click any ads as you progress. You wouldn't want to give J. Jacks the impression that what he's doing is okay.

#11: The Wrong Thing At The Wrong Time

Marten hates his life, and himself. And with good reason, I might add, as he is a pathetic loser. And if even Marten hates himself, then why shouldn't we hate him too? I mean, just look at him, in his humiliating overpriced shirt, with his gigantic eyebrows and his failed foreshortening that makes him look like he has the figure of a pyramid, sitting around feeling sorry for himself as he watches cartoons.

Pintsize demonstrates an utter lack of sympathy, and rightly so. Most people have shitty jobs, Marten. Especially most webcomic artists. Furthermore, I am not at all convinced that Marten even has the capacity to feel human emotion. He certainly doesn't seem to demonstrate it, except through forced and awkward monologue. He should really listen to Pintsize's advice in this strip.


#12: In The Interest Of Faye's Safety

With a bit of strained dialogue and a completely extraneous panel, our new scenario is announced: The two pencil-neck principal characters are going out to dinner. As they walk past what appears to be a big and very poorly designed brick wall, Faye gets a phone call. The only real point here is that Faye has an overprotective mother, and perhaps an indirect threat against Marten's wellbeing, but none of that is nearly as interesting as the fact that, if you pay attention to the backgrounds, the two of them seem to be walking backwards in this strip.


#13: Achtung Nippel

For some reason, Faye's ears have fallen off in panel one, or perhaps phased out of existence. But more importantly, Faye gives us a taste of her true colors. No, I don't mean making lame excuses for the opportunity to grope up Marten's chest. I am referring to her tendency toward violence. Ordinarily, she will have a reason for her abusive behavior, even if it is a really poor reason, but this time her assault is completely unprovoked and unwarranted. She does it because she thinks it is cute. But it's not cute, it's disgusting. Faye is a disgusting, abusive bitch. Not to mention her little quip in the last panel isn't even half as funny as a window sign with the word 'crap' on it.


#14: Vegan Beef

I love eating meat. I feel that meat is wonderful and delicious. Furthermore, it provides certain important vitamins that are vital to cognizant thought. However, I can understand and appreciate the fact that not everyone feels the same way I do. I am sympathetic with people who do not approve of snuffing out innocent life for the sake of a tasty meal. And I certainly do not think it is cute or funny to play sick practical jokes on vegetarians. I may not always be perfectly accommodating, but that doesn't mean that I feel compelled to treat them with blatant disrespect. But that's what QC is all about. People who are different, making fun of other people who are different, because they are not different in the same way.

A restaurant like that would never stay in business, as every customer they got would walk out immediately. Not only that, but this is a pretty piss poor example of what irony is. Giving meat to a vegan isn't ironic, it's a childish April Fools joke.


#15: More Vegan Humor (JJ is using the word 'humor' loosely)

It's hard to tell, but I think these two insignificant extras are both supposed to be women. The one on the left is Jeff's straw man, who, in spite of that role, actually makes a compelling argument. The other, her waitress, reacts with violence. Of course, the restaurant will be shut down during the impending lawsuit.

Not only does everything I said about the last comic still apply here, but Jacks has also failed at crafting something as simple and formulaic as a slapstick gag. This kind of joke hinges on physical suffering, and yet, the lobster is only latched on to the subject's hair, which has no nerves. We really can't count on this guy to tell any kind of joke properly.


#16: You're Ruining The Moment

Jacks decides to do a bit of soapboxing now, to preach about what he thinks of other people that are annoying to him. In the first panel, Marten is staring enviously at the charming man's attire, and is filled with regret for attending a concert wearing that shirt that makes him look utterly idiotic. Next up, we have the chatterboxes. Yes, everyone knows that it is annoying to talk incessantly at events like concerts, though I'm not certain how Marten can even hear them over concert volume music. Even so, their conversation is certainly interesting, as a girl seems to have cheated on her boyfriend with the abstract concept of the passage of time. Third panel, Marten gets assaulted by a stranger. Kind of like the last panel, it really goes without saying that this is annoying, but Jeff feels compelled to say it anyway. Finally, we have a creepy man who whispers sweet nothings into Marten's ear. Creepy guy, if Marten is in your way, just walk around him, since it seems that only these two people are even present at the concert here. This public service announcement brought to you by a guy who haaaaaaaates people interfering when he is trying to listen to music in a public place.

This is also the first strip we've seen with a news post other than "No news today, sorry." As any decent webcomic artist should do, he's keeping us informed about the situation there at "Questionable Conent" concerning things like servers, layout, update schedule, and most importantly, his own employment status. And I must confess, I'm really willing to excuse the travesty of the earlier strips, because the man still works for a living. This is all still taking place in the distant past, before people started paying him money just to keep making this shit.

This comic was inspired by a Mogwai concert! Now, maybe I'm thinking of a different Mogwai, but I have a few Mogwai MP3s that I stole. Usually when they come up on winamp random play, I hit the next button, since they're too depressing for me. But they really strike me as ambiance music. It's really hard to imagine a Mogwai concert, because it's the sort of music you might listen to when you are doing other things, like talking, or shoving people, or looking good.


#17: The Horror

After our last little extraneous interlude which rudely interrupted the lethargic progression of our storyline, Marten and Faye are eating their meatburgers, when Faye decides to spoil Marten's appetite. So she talks about pooping. Whether she's just messing with Marten's head out of malice, or whether pooping is sincerely the sort of thing that Faye is interested in discussing, we can't be certain. In either case, Marten is so stunned that he drops his burger and little bubbles came out of his head. That's the punchline, Marten's stunned reaction. Stunning Marten isn't difficult to do, though. You just have to be female, and then say something to him.

In his newsbox, Jeff seems to be under the misguided impression that poop jokes are weak. In truth, it's any kind of joke, if Jeff is the one telling it. After some generic news, as well as a plug for his other, now defunct site, he is courteous enough to warn us that the future may hold a strip done by someone competent, a guest artist who did a few guest strips for Comet-7. Comet-7, by the way, is a pixelated comic about tentacles and that makes very little sense, but which is vastly more entertaining than QC will ever be. Don't bother clicking the links, though; they are dead.


#18: Children Do Not Belong There

This comic is coupled with an eerily empty newsbox, but it features our heroes walking back home, talking about how hilarious they were in the previous strip. Here is an exciting twist, though: Their conversation segues into the topic of anal sex, and even pedophilia. Every plot twist in QC takes the form of a conversation segue, by the way.

A couple of things worth noting. First of all, Faye's hand gestures in panel 3 are very telling. Her idea of anal sex appears to involve forcibly shoving an entire human fist into somebody's ass. Second, this strip confirms my suspicions that they were moon walking in strip 12. There they are, passing that same brick wall, but facing the same direction, on their way back home.


#19: Better Than A Roll Of Dimes (that's a joke about girth, ha ha)

Fun fact: Marten is so starved for female attention that something as simple as a platonic hug from a girl will give him a gigantic throbbing boner. It doesn't even have to be an attractive girl; it could be Faye. Either that, or he's had an erection for the entire night. Of course, Faye feels compelled to comment on it, but despite her expression of disapproval, she doesn't recoil, or stop rubbing her body up against Marten or remove her hand from his armpit. Maybe Marten was supposed to look abashed in that last panel, but he really looks smug to me, like he's proud of himself that he managed to get it up.

I wish Marten really was doing laundry, but if he wore the same shirt two days in a row, it would be bad for Jacks' merchandise sales.

Newsbox has a few more defunct links, and makes me wish JJ really would get his limbs devoured by lions, but it's that last paragraph that is interesting. It is so sincere in its two-facedness. In this era, he draws his shitty comics because it is what he loves to do, and yet, he still yearns for internet fame. I can't fault him for that, though; this is the natural order of webcomic artists, and it is beautiful. What I can fault him for is plugging VG Cats. God, if only Jeff Jacks could write piss and dick jokes half as competently as Scott Ramsoomair.


#20: Not As Good As Pie

Let's end this article on a really lame note today: I'm eating cake mix! O.M.G. Jacks, that is pretty random right there. That's the kind of randomness that makes fourteen-year-old girls squeal like little piggies and flap their little fists in the air and exclaim how adorable GIR is. Did I say GIR? I'm sorry, I meant to say Pintsize.